Since we converted the kids’ cribs to toddler beds in late summer getting them to go to sleep has been an issue. They love to play and move from bed to bed after we put them down at night but it seemed like the novelty was beginning to wear off in recent weeks. Some nights, the kids would be asleep within 5 or 10 minutes of putting them down.
The sleeping trouble began right after we returned from the party in Massachusetts.[readmore] That night, Gabriel woke up several times during the night screaming. Each time, Robyn or I would go in, comfort him, get him settled back into bed and then leave the room. As soon as we would leave, he would start to scream and cry and run to the gate (we have a toddler-safe gate at the door of their room, so that they don’t wander around at night). His tantrum would increase untile he was kicking and yelling and coughing. After four rounds of this, I couldn’t take it any more so I took pillows and a blanket and slept on the floor of the kids’ bedroom until morning. This kept the boy quiet and allowed us to get some sleep, too.
This pattern continued for several more nights while naptimes started to get hairy too with crying and screaming. I continued to give in during the night and camp out on the floor. We knew it was the wrong thing to do, but the allure of sleep in any form was just too strong and I really didn’t mind sleeping on the floor. My back felt great in the morning and the kids were so darn cute when they woke up and realized that there was daddy sleeping on their floor! The saving grace in all this was that Gabriel was not putting up a fuss at bedtime, so at least the time from 8pm on was “safe”.
…or so we thought.
My mom stayed with us for Thanksgiving. That entailed me driving to MA to pick her up and then driving back home. Yeah, that’s 16 hours of driving for the whole visit. But, my mom loves being with the kids and we don’t do it more than a few times a year, so it’s worth it to me. Anyway, Robyn had to work on the Tuesday and Wednesday nights before Thanksgiving, so I was alone with the kids (with my mom, too!) after we arrived back home. The night went well and the kids were in bed and quiet by about 8:30. I was sitting at the laptop upstairs checking my email while Mom was downstairs I suddenly heard Gabriel begin to whimper and then cry. He came to the gate at their door and started his usual routine of asking for me or Robyn…and then saying that he “had a poopoo”…and then telling me he “bumped my keppi (that’s Yiddish for “head”)”…and then that his “belly hurts”. With each new “problem”, he got louder and more upset. I went through all the usual responses including just letting him cry and then became creative. I tried laying on the floor for 30 minutes until he got quiet, but when I stalked silently out of the room, he went ballistic.
After two and a half hours of this, I was at my wits end. I was so angry that I was being held hostage by my two year old during the night and now during the evening that should be mine to relax. Finally, I called Robyn at work hoping I would catch her before she walked out the door. I finally got her on the phone and told her to “talk me down”. Of course, I would not have done anything stupid, but I felt like I wanted to jump out the window and run screaming from the house so I needed her to calm me. She did and she told me to just hold him in the living room with the lights off until she got home. The boy was asleep in minutes after I did this – no doubt the screaming tired him out.
The next day, I was not feeling well. I thought it might have been stress-related, but I think I actually had a little stomach bug or something. Since she was not going to be home, Robyn asked her mother to come by and help out. I felt bad about this, but it was a good thing she agreed because I really didn’t feel so hot and needed to lay down right after we gave the kids dinner. I woke up just in time to put them to bed. I tried standing in the doorway until Gabriel fell asleep (Chloe generally goes right to sleep), but a wave of nausea rolled over me and I had to sit down. As soon as I did the whole scene from the night before began to be repeated. My mother-in-law went through pretty much all the steps that I did until finally, around 9:45, she decided that the only way he was going down was to hold him. Once again, this worked. We were able to transfer him back to his bed and she was able to go back home.
Okay, long story short…this is getting [b]way[/b] too long…. This went on for several nights but Robyn and I had had enough. We decided to let him cry no matter how long it took. Amazingly, Chloe seemed to sense our change in attitude and while Gabriel cried she started to talk to him and offered him toys. Distracted, he started to play, which was not ideal but was certainly better than wailing! After about 30 minutes, they were both asleep. The nights were a little touch and go, but I wasn’t sleeping on the floor anymore. Each night was easier and each morning he’s been sleeping a little bit later. So, now it seems like we’ve gotten past this latest sleep-related hurdle!
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