I used to hang around in a basement…a lot! In fact, I practically lived in my friends’ basement for about a year. We used to call ourselves “The Cellar Dwellers”. It was my friends Chris and Shannon’s parents’ basement. We set it up to make it fairly live-able – heat, seating, fridge. <\/p>\n
This was during a time in my life when I had no direction. I had planned to go to college after high school. In fact, I was the recipient of the “Oxford High School Janitorial Scholarship”. No, I didn’t want to be a janitor and I didn’t hang out with the janitors – they just put together some sort of scholarship and gave it to someone who was deserving. Based on what criteria, I have no idea, but I got it. Little did I know it would barely cover 1 semester at any of the state schools in Massachusetts. I had applied and been accepted to Fitchburg State College. I have no idea why I wanted to go there – I honestly do not recall what I wanted to do. Now, I needed to make some money.<\/p>\n
So, after graduation, I got a job working in the warehouse of Millbrook Distributors. Fine purveyors of just about anything you could purchase at your local CVS – shampoo, skin care, makeup, condoms – you name it. So, I worked at this place for almost the whole summer. Five days a week from 6:30 am to 4 pm. I had to get up so early that I found myself going to bed at about 9 o’clock most nights. Yeah, that summer was a blast! It got so hot in the warehouse that walking in from the break room was like walking straight into Hell. It was hot, smelly and dark. Flashing lights from the forklifts assaulted your eyes while the sound of pallets crashing and conveyor belt motors blasted your ears. Anyway, I worked there most of the summer. From June until late August. <\/p>\n
The slacker in me took over. I started calling out sick – a lot. Eventually, I just stopped going in to work so I could spend more time goofing off with my friends. Luckily, I had saved a fair amount of Millbrook money – enough to keep my car running. The date for scheduling classes at Fitchburg State came and went. Soon, I found myself just hanging out. With no job and nothing to do but have fun. It was no fun going back home. I felt like a bit of a failure and I didn’t want my mom asking me about school. So, I started to stay in my friends’ basement more and more. It got to the point when I was only going home once every few days. When I did go home, my mom didn’t hassle me because she was just happy that I was back!<\/p>\n
So, what does this have to do with ass photography?<\/p>\n
Well, one day, Chris and I were hanging out alone in the basement. We were probably just acting stupid and drinking cool-aid when we saw George’s camera laying around. We thought it would be funny to take some humorous shots and surprise George when he got the film developed. There was the obligatory facial close up. The ubiquitous Chris-making-faces-at-the-camera shot. Then Chris bends over and moons the camera. Not just a normal moon, mind you. Chris actually spread his butt cheeks for the camera. I quickly snapped the shutter and we laughed about how there was no way that one was going to come out since his ass was so close to the lens.<\/p>\n
About a week later, George shows up at another mutual friends’ house. He was a bit angry. It seems the roll of film in his camera was for some important event – maybe our high school graduation – I don’t exactly recall. Having completed the roll, George gave it to his mom to get developed. She picked up the developed images and proudly showed them to her coworkers without having looked through the whole roll first. Mixed in with photos of smiling graduates and family snapshots, she was stunned to find a crystal clear, textbook quality photograph of Chris’s anus staring her in the face!<\/p>\n
Oh, lest you think I have the picture displayed somewhere on my site – I can assure you that it was destroyed, negative and all. Right along with George’s mom’s opinion of Chris and I!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I used to hang around in a basement…a lot! In fact, I practically lived in my friends’ basement for about a year. We used to call ourselves “The Cellar Dwellers”. It was my friends Chris and Shannon’s parents’ basement. We … Continue reading